Montserrat, Friday, May 30

So, I decided to record again yesterday. I like to see how the text plays out when it’s natural speaking. Human speech is really imperfect compared to the written word…with so many “ums” and natural pauses, I like the crooked cadence of it, even if it doesn’t read as smoothly.

So, I’m deciding to record here because it’s fairly quiet, not too many people on the path. And…when I don’t say anything all I hear is, birds, and…the mountain is bathed in a soft, grey quiet. It was raining earlier today. And, for a moment, at least there’s no rain and, I hear a little thunder in the distance.

Perhaps it’ll rain soon and I should go back down the mountain. I’m on Montserrat which used to be a monastery, and it’s also a national park. And I’m, on this path right now and I’m looking at these, lavender, five petal circular flowers and also some, yellow flowers and they’re just, clinging in small clumps to the side of the mountain and, I’m always surprised how…these, tiny little plants, survive on the side of what to me is such a huge and, massive being this mountain and…I was in the basilica at the church, maybe an hour ago and I, I didn’t feel anything I usually, don’t feel religious in houses of worship.

I’ve perhaps seen too many churches or I just, I feel that in a man-made structure I can’t find a sense of God but, I was walking along the path and, in my head going, you know when I’m alone sometimes my brain is like a broken record it keeps skipping over the same worries and concerns and then, I saw on this rock a Buddhist symbol that somebody had drawn. I think it’s the Om symbol; it’s a pretty well known symbol and, for me, even if there is no God, for me that was…a sign from the spiritual presence that I feel in nature.

And it made me feel all right again knowing you know just, this whole faith business, it’s…it’s like, diving off a cliff sometimes or, y’know, opening a door and you don’t know what’s on the other side of the room.

Well, I should turn off my iPod because, I think it’s starting to rain again some drops are falling, and, I should go back down the mountain, but, I wanted to record because I always…whenever I’m alone in nature I always remember how, how small I am, but also…ah I sound so cheesy but uh…how much larger I feel too like I’m part of this whole, landscape I’m a, walking tree. Uh, “Lord of the Rings” style but um…

I think there was a Native American legend that said trees are also people but, they’re rooted and…I’m looking right now at this…black tree some of its branches have fallen down and it’s um, very knotted and, there are vines growing over it…And it looks very, solemn against the, whiteness that’s covering the mountain; I’ll have to take a picture of it. Well I think I’ll, keep on my journey now. Okay, bye.